Barring the arrival of an Earth cleansing asteroid or an armed revolt, America’s nightmare election will be over in just a few short hours. (Remember, a certain candidate holding out on making a concession speech has no impact on the validity of the results of the election.) Until then, however, every TV channel, newspaper and deranged relative on Facebook will be keeping you up to date on the contest you’ve been sick of since the first time Donald Trump mentioned his dick.

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